Zims Stinky Weapons of Stinky Doom
by Tonnskull
Summary: Zim finally recieves something of use from the Tallest. It's not what he expected. (R&R? oO) [COMPLETE!]
1. Introduction Thingy of DOOM!

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A/N: This will be extreme crap.  
  
GIR: Yaaaayyy!! Crap... Ehehehe  
  
A/N: Right GIR... lots of it...  
  
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[We open with Zim sitting at his computer, absentmindedly typing commands into it. GIR enter the frame]  
  
GIR: Whatca' doin...  
  
ZIM: Oh, what? Oh, nothing.  
  
[GIR begins to sniff Zim]  
  
GIR: You smell like soap! ^___^  
  
ZIM: Yes, soap, now OFF WITH YOOUUU!!!  
  
[Later on like...]  
  
ZIM: See, My Tallest, that's why I need ten billion gallons of peanut butter.  
  
[Zim smiles at his computer screen on which Red and Purple stare out boredly]  
  
PURPLE: And you say this will help you conquer the Earth?  
  
ZIM: Yes. So much PAIN for the PIG SMELLY HUMANS!!!  
  
RED: Yeah, Zim, how about we just send you some lethal weapons?  
  
ZIM: [baffled] You're joking right? YOU MAKE UP LIES!!!  
  
RED: Nope.  
  
ZIM: Yes, My Tallest, I will make full use of these! [salute] And be assured that the HUMANS will be--  
  
[Transmission Cut]  
  
ZIM: ....Yay......  
  
[GIR jumps on Zims head]  
  
GIR: YOUR HEAD IS LIKE DOOKIE!!  
  
[Zim throws GIR at the wall]  
  
ZIM: MY HEAD IS NOT DOOKIE!! Now, go prepare for the arrival of my deadly weapons...  
  
GIR: [Red] Yes, my master! [Blue] After I make some waffles!  
  
ZIM: NO GIR! NO WAFFLES! Prepareee....  
  
GIR: But I liiiiike to make waaaafllles...  
  
[TO BE CONTINUED?]  
  
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A/N: SEE? SEE? I TOLD YOOOOUUU!!!  
  
GIR: WEEEE!!!!!!!!  
  
A/N: I will update this though! Hehe.  
  
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Invader ZiM and stuff is Copyright Viacom and stuff.  
  
Teh Ficceh ish MIIINEE!!!  
  
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	2. The Chapter In Which Stinkiness Comes

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NARRATOR: [in a horrible British accent that makes you want to pop your own eardrums] When we last left Dim...  
  
A/N: Well, It's actually... Zim... (Wow... Ellipses ARE Fun!)  
  
NARRATOR: Yes... ZIM was to receive some weapony type... THINGS from those really tall guys and--  
  
A/N: [pushes Narrator out of the way] Just on wif teh FIIIIC!! Yey.  
  
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ZIM: [twitching in anticipation] Weaponsss... I will have weapons. And I will blow up Dib's STUPID, HUGE, HIPPO HEAD!  
  
GIR: [somehow hanging from the ceiling] Hippos! Heeheeehee! Hippos are FAT! I liiiiiiike Hiiiiiiippos...  
  
ZIM: Yes GIR, Hippos.  
  
[The Doorbell rings]  
  
GIR: [falls from the ceiling] Mah taquitos!  
  
[GIR runs to the door and pulls it open, revealing a huge boxish thing addressed to Zim]  
  
GIR: YOU NOT MAH TAQUITOS!! [slams the door]  
  
ZIM: MY WEAPONS!! You know, I should really try to stop those outbursts like that...  
  
GIR: [nods with his tongue halfway out]  
  
ZIM: [walks triumphantly to the door] Hello weaponsss... [hug]  
  
GIR: Awww... Weapons and Zim.. YOU GUYS ARE SO CYOOT!! [runs off yelling something about piggehs again]  
  
ZIM: Now, for the moment I have been DREAMING OF! Well, no... THIIINKING OF then... I'm happy about the weapons you get it.  
  
[Zim opens the box and pulls out what looks like and oversized bendy straw with a funnel in one end. There is a label above the funnel]  
  
ZIM: Insert the... [mumble] Ewww! Thats just sick! GIR!! I NEED DOOKIE!!  
  
GIR: Weee! Dookeh!! [takes the Straw and comes back a minute later]  
  
ZIM: Hmm... I wonder what the dookie was f-- [presses the trigger] AUGH!! IT STINKS!! SOOO MUUCH!!  
  
[In fact, It stinks so much, that Zims disguise melts off and his eyes begin to burn]  
  
DIB: [Walking by wearing a pig suit] Eh?  
  
GIR: [Sees Dib] Its... A PIGGEH!!! [runs at Dib]  
  
DIB: NOO! ITS JUST A DISGUISE!! I'M JUST DIB!! [still running] Wait, why did I say that? [runs into the Tree]  
  
GIR: YAY! [jumps on Dibs head] You smell like BACON! Why you eatin yo'self piggeeeehhh?  
  
ZIM: Dib, prepare your HUGGANTURAOUS head for dookie DOOM!  
  
DIB: Hugganturaous isn't a w--  
  
ZIM: SIIILENCE!! Now, feel the stink! [pulls the trigger and a brown cloud SLOWLY wafts towardes Dib]  
  
DIB: When does the doom come, Zim?  
  
ZIM: Oh, human, silly human. Do not worry your smelly little... no, not little...  
  
DIB: Stop with the cracks already!  
  
ZIM: But they're so EASY to put into the plot without thinking of anything truly clever! And th-- [is closer to the Straw and so he smells it first] AUUUGGGHHH!! THE STIIINNK!!!  
  
DIB: Hey, Zim? I'm gonna go now [turns to GIR, who is now trying to feed the security gnomes waffles] Put these bombs in Zims house so he'll blow up and stuff. [walks off]  
  
GIR: Oooookie-dokie!!  
  
ZIM: [writhing in pain.. stink.. erm] CUURRSSEE YOU.. Self-Torture Products Inc? Ok, CUURRRSSEEE YOOOOUUUU!!!!!  
  
[TO BE CONCLUDED]  
  
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A/N: Fwee! I thought that chappy was pretty good! And thanks for the reviews peoples! xD... There will be at least one more chapter of whatever this is... Hehe.  
  
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ZIM is copyright Viacom and some people. But one day, oh yes ONE DAY I SHALL OWN TEH ZIMMEH!!! And then I'll do all kind of stupid corporate thingies... XDD  
  
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Oh, and, TEH FICCEH STILL MIIIIIINE!!!!!!  
  
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	3. The Finale In Which Some Stuff Explodes

Zims Stinky Weapons of Stinky Doom  
The Chapter In Which Stuff Explodes And GIR Discovers Pixy Stix  
  
Narrator: Welcome to the somewhat-grand finale of -- [is shot] Poop! [is dead]  
  
GIR: Mister stinky maaan!! [poke] Why you sleepin'!? [poke]  
  
A/N: Yes, believe it or not, poor denizens of Fanfiction.Net, Zims Stinky Weapons is being updated!! With it's final chappy!  
  
GIR: Weeeeeee!!! [throws waffles about in a celebratory fashion]  
  
A/N: Yes, now... ON WITH THE FIC-NESS!! oO  
  
[Zim is uncounsious of stink and is laying on the ground. A group of commoners has surrounded him and are prodding him.]  
  
Idiot 1: Look!! He's a hippo!  
  
Idiot: 2: No, he's a bald eagle.  
  
Idiot 3: You're all wrong!! He's a platypus!! FLY AWAY!!! [Idiot 3 picks up Zim and throws him into the streets.]  
  
GIR: Okay Zimmeh!! Im'a go makes some stuffs BLOW UP!! [GIR stands around staring at the bombs.]  
  
[Long pause. Zim is run over by several cars in the background.]  
  
GIR: Muffin cannon! You muffins! [GIR hugs the bombs and puts them into the stink cannon.]  
  
[Zim hobbles back into the frame, mysteriously bandaged.]  
  
Zim: No GIR. That's MY deadly weapon! [Zim snatches the stink cannon away from GIR.]  
  
GIR: [Eyes watering.] Yooouuu haaaatee meeeehhh!! [GIR runs into the house, tears streaming from his eyes. The door slams shut.] Piggeh!  
  
Zim: Now to stink the stupid Earth... stupid with the stupid stupidie... er... I AM ZIM!! [Zim marches off.]  
  
[Later, at Dib's house.]  
  
Zim: [Knocks on the door.]  
  
[Gaz answers the door.]  
  
Zim: Hello young girl. Would you be interested in buying some human dirt sucking machines?  
  
[Gaz kicks Zim in the crotch and stalks off.]  
  
Dib: [Appears.] Ok, what do you want now Zim? Your STUPID poooop -- cannon didn't work. I mean what a STUPID idea--  
  
Zim: Not as stupid as your HEAD is BIG! With it's big head biggieness!  
  
Dib: What? oO  
  
Zim: SILENCE! [And with that, Zim pulls the trigger on the stink cannon with a bomb loaded inside of it. A mushroom cloud of crap vapours forms. Zim is thrown fifty feet into the air and into the house.]  
  
GIR: Ooooh! Pretty dookeh! [He runs outside.]  
  
[An hour later.]  
  
[Zim has contacted Red and Purple yet again.]  
  
Zim: ...And so as you can see, my tallest, everything is fiiiine. Even without operation Peanut Butter Suckling!  
  
Red: [Licking an ice cream cone.] Is it really?  
  
Purple: [Bouncing a ball off of Red's head.] Yeah!  
  
Zim: Yes, everything is just fine. And your weapons worked like a charm!   
  
GIR: [Runs in and runs into a wall, which falls over, having being made of cardboard. The air of the outside is a deep brown colour. People are writhing in the streets. GIR runs off] Yaaaaaayyy!!  
  
Red: [Drops his ice cream cone.]  
  
Zim: NO GIR!!! [Zim is over taken by the smell and collapses.]  
  
GIR: Ish dookehworld!! Mah dreeaaam! Come piggeh!! [GIR grabs a pig and runs off, screaming. The Tallest can only stare.]  
  
Fade to something.  
  
A/N: Wow, the ending lived up to the beginning. Crap! Lol.  
  
GIR: [In a state of shock from the awesomeness of all the crap.]  
  
A/N: Yeah, crap. LITERALLY. Anyway, that's it -- FINALLY -- for this series. Believe it or not, this is the first writing project of anything I've ever completed. Mostly because it's hard to get sick of Zim. Anyway, see you next time! =)  
  
Zim belongs to the lucky craps at Viacom. Why can't I be a lucky crap!?! And, yes, the fic still belongs to me, contrary to what some might say, .  
  
End.  



End file.
